IshtarFish (mayawelstead) wrote,

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:/ And here is my contribution to the Beast/B2st fandom.

Title: Time Changes
Author: mayawelstead 
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung and G-Dragon/Hyunseung
Rating: R/NC-17
Word Count: 1830
Note: Prompt by lackofsound . She told me: "Hyunseung/Junhyung. Plus GD. HS's old lover and his new one! :D" and somehow it ends up 1830 words when I was trying to drabble. Enjoy!

Hyunseung can't remember when things changed. Since the first day at YG, meeting Jiyong-hyung and feeling his world rapidly re-gravitate, Jiyong has featured in his life at all times. Even the night of his elimination was filled with Jiyong. His face, hidden in that hood was tear streaked and huge, dominating Hyunseung's field of view the way that he dominated everything. His leader, his best friend. His love. Their last embrace as band mates was long and awkward in front of the camera, arms too-tight. A whispered command Hyunseung knew he would obey even if Jiyong was not his leader anymore, "Call me when you get home".

Their relationship did not drastically change after. Jiyong was busy, very busy, successfully debuting then being swept from event to event, but transit times and dressing room breaks were spent texting or calling, any little pocket of time that could be called theirs. Jiyong was even more stressed, filling his evenings off in meetings with managers or higher-ups in the company - discussing the members' progress in training, events they should schedule, songs Jiyong had/was to create, new performances, choreography, health... The duties of leader were more taxing now than ever. But still Jiyong found time for him; they even saw each other occasionally, at the movies or sometimes when Hyunseung could sneak into the dorm.

Hyunseung started back up dancing. He eventually found a company willing to take him on and train him into a tool they could use. He made it into a group. And the cycle started again.

Junhyung was vibrant, smooth skinned and harsh-tongued, his confidence a mirror of Jiyong's. The way he behaved in bed, however, was directly contrary. Jiyong was fiery heat that completely overwhelmed Hyungseung, ripping pleasure from and smothering him in counter movements. Jiyong took thrill in getting caught (much to Hyunseung's embarrassment when they were caught by each of their band mates in turn), always wanting to take advantage of spare moments in any nook they could find. Jiyong was wild.

Junhyung, however, took his time, was slow. He always attended to Hyunseung before himself, immersing himself completely in giving pleasure then taking it for himself when Hyunseung was relaxed and pliable. With Junhyung it always felt like being suspended in a different reality where no one could ever go - a silent licking flame, like the one emitted by schoolroom Bunsens. Junhyung made him the centre of his world; in the way that Jiyong took up all the space in Hyunseung's own.

The further into Beast activities he got, the clearer to Hyunseung it became that his texts with Jiyong were getting less and less frequent, that they saw each other less often. The final line came when in a hotel near Hyunseung's dorm. Jiyong's hand down his pants and heavy breaths between them, he started reaching for patterns in hair only to find long blonde bangs instead. A jolt and Jiyong's hand had slipped away with a confused look. They had never been exclusive, too many people loved Jiyong for that, and Hyunseung had never seen the point in a monogamous relationship with someone he rarely saw anyway. But Hyunseung had never confused his partners before.

"Seungie-yah?" The bewildered tone brought him back. It wasn't as though it mattered. Hyunseung loved Jiyong; he had no reason to stop now. He fisted his hands in the hair that man didn't have to prove his point, bringing this familiar mouth back with him onto the bed. Flinging away the insecure moment, he shoved his pants down and started on what were probably the only normal jeans Jiyong owned. Bare instants later the pants were gone and Hyunseung could shove himself up into the curve of Jiyong's prominent hip. A hand was creeping further back and he let it go, grasping for lube and the condom somewhere on the bed; shoving it at Jiyong once he found them. He pushed aside the eerie wrongness of two fingers at once (he was always so careful), but it didn't hurt and this was normal for them anyway. Unbidden, his mind flashed to Seunghyun-hyung, wondering if he knew where Jiyong was tonight. Which was ridiculous - Hyung had always known about him. It had never been a problem because they both understood that Jiyong's love was not tiny and limited; he was perfectly capable of offering them both a part of him.

When Jiyong entered him just like every other time before, Hyunseung realised with a shock something inside himself was twisting itself up tighter than SHINee's colourful jeans. Momentarily he had to stop himself shoving Jiyong away - resisting the urge to be sick over the side of the bed. Something just felt so wrong and it scared him. He stared unseeingly upwards for minutes before he registered the eyes peering down at him worriedly. His laughter was probably more terrifying than his tense stillness if Hyunseung thought about it. As it was, he was pretty sure he was hysterical.

He didn't know until he was curled in Jiyong's arms that he was crying.

"I love you." He really didn't mean for it to come out sounding as insecure as it did. Jiyong just shushed him, stroking his hair back from his face like his mother liked to do. "I do, Hyung."

"I know, Seungie-yah. I love you too." And somehow, it felt like the time when cameras caught their distraught clinging in the aftermath of YG's decision. Like an ending of part of their lives together.

The atmosphere was different in the dorm after that. Hyunseung had come back the morning after and locked himself in the bedroom for hours, merely passing things the members needed out the door rather than let anyone see him. Even Yoseob was forbidden entrance - whom he usually confided everything in - so the others grew steadily more worried.

It got to the point where Gikwang was told to call Jihyun to call CL and find out what had happened with G-Dragon. Half an hour later they all knew that Hyunseung and GD had in essence broken up. Jihyun reported that TOP had told CL that Hyunseung had moved on. Personally, Gikwang didn't think it looked as though Hyunseung-hyung had moved on, if the grieving silence was anything to go by. Then again, what would he know? He was reportedly not the most sensitive member of his group, after all.

The next few weeks had as full a schedule as usual, making it easy for Hyunseung to avoid Junhyung. He knew Junhyung was confused, since they were close friends who spent hours in each other's company. Besides that, they generally slept together at least once a week and Junhyung hadn't actually done anything to make him angry. Not that Hyunseung was angry. He was just trying to work out what was happening between them. It had seemed like an easy relationship based around desire and companionship. It had worked like that. Now, though, discovering his desire had become monogamous without his permission, it just felt awkward to be alone with him.

It lasted four weeks. In that time Hyunseung had sex with no one but himself, and failed to avoid fantasies (memories) of smooth skin beneath his hand, smirking lips below his ear, even simple visions of smiling eyes behind thick-rimmed glasses were enough to turn him on. But he didn't want to challenge what they stood for. So he refrained until Junhyung snapped.

"Yah!" A sudden pain in his back accompanied the outcry as he was shoved against the practice room wall. The walls in here were panelled and Hyunseung could feel bruises forming where wooden beams supported the plaster. The bricks behind the surface thankfully kept the wall from breaking - Hyunseung didn't want to think about reparation.

He didn't think Juhyung was thinking about potential damages either, looking at his stony face; eyes dark with anger. Probably anger.

Hyunseung was dimly aware of the others taking notice and he knew when soon they were alone, but he could hear nothing past the adrenaline and blood still pumping in his veins from dancing; could see nothing past Junhyung's intense eyes - uncovered today - staring him down mere inches from his face. It was too close for his sanity but the hands holding his shoulders were forceful.

A tentative struggle only landed him with lips and teeth (he tasted blood and mentally cursed at the scolding he would get from the Stylist-noonas) pressed tight against his own, a tongue shoving itself in in a display of dominance Junhyung didn't usually assert. Hyunseung brought his hands up to push at Junhyung's wrists but somehow they ended up staying there, wrapped securely to keep him close. As soon as he began to move against Junhyung's mouth the man pulled away, but his eyes had softened. It occurred to Hyunseung that he might've been testing the new boundaries, seeing if he was still welcome. His hands squeezed involuntarily at the realisation that probably his friend had been hurt by his complete withdrawal.

"I'm... I'm sorry." I didn't mean to hurt you he hoped his eyes said. He thought the message had reached when Junhyung's forehead rested against his and he got a close view of Junhyung's relieved expression; eyes closed and breathing calming alongside his own. They stayed there for long moments; Hyunseung's hands sliding further down Junghyung's arms to twine fingers together on his own shoulders. He knew he owed Junhyung an explanation for cutting him off but he didn't really want to confess that he was grieving for a relationship lost in order to keep the very one he'd abandoned for so many weeks.

It didn't seem like he needed to, however, as Junhyung started lipping and biting at his jaw. Hyunseung's head fell back - tension from a month of restraining himself washed out of him and he let his friend (finally) do what he wanted with his body. His lover, even, he dared to think.

He was surprised when Yoseob poked his head through the door; cheekily informing them that the half-hour break was over now and the others wanted to resume practice. Surprised because, possibly for the first time in their history, they had remained clothed and kissing for so long. It was hardly even sexual. Just closeness and Hyunseung felt his heart reluctantly swell at the idea that they could be that kind of couple - a couple content to make out for the pleasure alone instead of only being an act of foreplay.

A smile broke his face in two and his fingers shakily rose to Junhyung's lips where the mark of his presence was clearly evident. Perhaps this was the start of what he'd wanted all along. He read his awe reflected back to him before turning back to practice. They would have plenty of time to sort it out. Hyunseung would make sure of that.
Tags: alyyyyyyssa made me do it, beast is the b2st, big bang is a good sound, fic, omg lyss this is all your fault
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